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Oh customers, you so crazy! [Jul. 11th, 2012|09:35 pm]
I work at a bookstore. I like it. People be trippin'.

“You don’t have the atlas I want! You need to get rid of some of this ‘Walking Dead’ stuff and get in more atlases!”
“Maurice Sendak died.”
“He wrote ‘Where the Wild Things Are.’”
“I didn’t read that. I saw the movie.”
“Have you read ‘50 Shades of Grey’?”
“A bit.”
“Is it as good as they say?”
“Oh yeah. It’s hilarious.”
“Nobody here knows Excel.”
“The difference between Walmart and Mordor is one is the source of all evil, and the other is a fantasy place in a book.”
“I would not recommend any man or woman work at that place.”
“What about beast?”
“Beast would find gainful employment.”
(in cafe)
“You go ahead. I can’t decide.”
“It all looks so good, doesn’t it?”
“Actually, I’m trying to decide what will make me least nauseous.”
“That awkward moment where customers want you to briefly explain ‘The Hunger Games’.”
“It’s about children who kill each other in an arena. You’d like it.”
“It’s a really weird book. It’s about these two virgins… who supposedly never had sex.”
(—customer on James Patterson)
“What’s the difference between a hardcover and paperback?”
“I need a Bible.”
“What version do you need?”
“I don’t know…” (turns to husband) “Honey, are we Baptist or NIV?”
“Did you know there is a 256 person waiting list a the library for this book?”
“Seriously? Are you kidding?”
“No, I’m not kidding.”
“I wrote this book about my family once. It was about this group of guys…”
“You wrote a book about your family and it was about a group of guys?”
“Yeah well, you know, guys in my family like aunts, cousins…”
(overheard on phone)
“From A Buick 8. From a Buick 8. 8, like the number eight. Buick, like the car. Buick 8. Yeah… it’s a weird title, but he’s a weird guy.
(— re: From A Buick 8 by Stephen King and annunciation.)
“Do you have any chess books… on chess?”
“No, but we have some chess books on backgammon.”
“Oh. Well, I like backgammon.”
(while ringing up customer)
“What can I help you find… uh, you know what? I’m getting my programmed responses mixed up.”
(most WTF question ever.)
“I’m looking for books about the presidents from England before the war.”